change challenge update:

really enjoying running and doing yoga. going to a yoga class today. after a month of it, i'll posts pics of in shape me.

also, setting up a home studio/office at the moment, which i am really happy about. a private place at home i can work and get things done. sorting through books, materials, clothes, art, about to purge. time to start over...

little bit at a time! change is making me feel better.

The emotion of this song has been resonating with me lately. It's like.. it's hurts, but I'm changing, because it's about time. And the result will be something I'm quite proud of.

Dar Williams, It's Alright

"I know change is a bad thing,
Breaks me down into a sorry sad thing
Not some iridescent grateful butterfly.
I'll resist with defiance,
Not the valor of a mystic silence,
I will fight the dizzy spiral of goodbye.

And it's alright, it's alright, it's alright
And it's alright, it's alright, it's alright

Please don't say you don't love me,
Never dangle any sword above me,
With the kind of change that severs me in two.
Give me amberizing glasses.
Could you slow it down like molasses,
As I salvage my old self away from you.

And it's alright, it's alright, it's alright.
And it's alright, it's alright, it's alright.
And it's alright, it's alright, it's alright.

Because I have seen insane things,
All those grand, historic paintings.
Morning light on polished swords and burnished pride.
Anxious smiles encased in whalebone,
Spines of steel from head to tailbone,
Cannons poised to blast the turning of the tide.

It's a sad and a strange thing.
But it's time and I am changing.
Into something good or bad, well that's your guess.
I'm my own sovereign nation,
Dedicated to a transformation,
Marching on with this target on my chest, oh yes,

And it's alright, it's alright, it's alright.
And it's alright, it's alright, it's alright.
And it's alright, it's alright, it's alright.
And it's alright, it's alright, it's alright.
And it's alright, it's alright, it's alright.
And it's alright, it's alright, it's alright. "

I'm wearing plaid! ;D I ended up getting something that has some blues, whites, slight shades of green, and yellows on it. I found a reallllly awesome deep purple/red/blue plaid shirt, but it was the wrong size. I took note of the store I found it in though, so I can always go back and see if they have my size later.

Anyway, I took some photos! I'm actually really liking the shirt so far! Tried taking some photographs in the mirror in my bathroom, but the lighting sucked and it was kinda blurry, so I took a few shots outside as well: [ 1 ] [ 2 ] [ 3 ] (Doesn't really show off my shirt, but I thought it was cool that the picture turned out so well given that I just held the camera out in front of me and clicked ) [ 4 ] (It was bright outside!)

Now I want to go buy lots more plaid shirts! I'm a tall and skinny guy, so I want to go out and find a store that has a lot of fitted clothes (including more plaid shirts ). Anyone know of any good stores that sell fitted clothes for men?

Everybody were making they messy rooms into clean ones. so I made my clean room (1) into messy one ^^ (2) sorted that thing (3) and throw 2 bags of trash and around 5 kilo of waste paper

It was only desk what I've cleared. Some of notebooks there were from time when I had 6 yo. Now they are gone. I throw all my stories I made up before. I've understood that I'm so different now and If I want write something I have to do this from the beginning. I also get out of fantasy. Reality is more interesting to describe now

my first challenge is to sing. *snerk* i had to get over my nerves and just remember this was all for fun, im no susan boyle and i sure as hell aint trying out for american idol. this song i tried to sing has a lot of back story-- i used to sing it ages ago, so much, evidently, that i surprised myself by remembering all the words after not having listened to it for 30 or so years. when i was 17-18 years old, i loved singing along with this guy-- i could carry on some pretty decent harmony i think--either that or it really sucked and embarrassed my friends when i did it in public. so i was either very good or very bad, to the point that when this (obscure and little known at the time) band did a concert at a very small venue in town, one of my *best* (yes, i finally learned that girl was NO friend of mine in any sense of the word) friends was determined to trick me into taking a sleeping pill so that i would sleep through the entire show. yes, she finally convinced me. yes, i slept through the show and have no memory of it. yes, i have kicked myself over and over for being so stupid. i was 17 or thereabouts, so yeah. anyway, over the years, i lost this bands records (they were vinyl or 8-track tapes, so they disintegrated in quality with time, not to mention that i threw out all my vinyl records over 20 years ago because i had nothing to play them on) then about a year ago at the beginning of ep, for some reason i mentioned a song of this band. and amazingly enough, angel had the boxed set compilation of much of this bands music, a good $50 or $60 dollars worth of music, and he kindly, generously, sweetly, sent copies of all the mp3 files to me. (loa at work--though i actually expected/accepted i was never going to hear this music again) so for your laugh for the day (mine too, actually, i aint just cutting myself down ) i would present to you, ONE entire song, complete with my son saying something to me in the middle of it, him pouring some of a bag of pretzels into a bowl, and all the other clicky clacky noises, IF i could upload the mp3 file. so if you really wanna hear hear it, ask me in the skype chat, and i'll send you the mp3 file. yes, all this essay for just one sing-along duet sort of thing. maybe you'll have as much fun listening as i did recording.
i didnt think so--anyway, the song is called remember, and thats certainly what it causes me to do. which means this part of my challenge is completed and im moving to another part-- a self-imposed challenge-- scares me to think of it, its a huge endeavor, but im slogging through. have to. have to. have to.

So I've been a bit neglectful of my challenge -- I know a big one, and quite frankly am terrified of it. Need to set that into motion.

Also been prepping for different things - got some purple hair dye for use after my brother graduates (never dyed my hair before), two colors of nailpolish (a purple and a teal, both pretty bright colors) since the last time I'd any of that was when one of my friends decided she had to paint my toes maybe 4 months ago and not for a long time before that either, and am going to learn how to wear makeup (since I've only worn it at HS graduation and my cousins' weddings).

First though, drivers' license. Now.

I did my makeup challenge but didn't take pictures the first time, but I decided it was worth another shot. I also decided to wear my winged serpent necklace.

H'yar and over h'yar.

I was on shopping today
Results:

1
2
3
4
5
6
7

THX for my bf for making that photos

Alright, in terms of driver's license, didn't test for it, but did get it renewed. There aren't any open test slots statewide for the next month or so. And technically I shouldn't have been able to renew it again, but I did. That's because the possibility of renewal hangs off of the expiration date of your physical. The last times I renewed the permit, I did it before it had actually expired. This left me with a few days leeway now to renew it for the third time. So glad I don't need to retest for that and wait 6 months. ^^

In terms of the telling dad "No, I'm not going on vacation with you this year." That'll happen either Wednesday (tomorrow) or Thursday. Have planned an out for when he blows up, so I can leave, which is another "No, I'm not a little kid you can tell what to do anymore." Still really scared of it, kind of a flail/sink or swim sort of thing going to be happening. I'll be coming at it from my teaching high on Wednesday though, so that should help.

Challenge #2: Martial Arts

This brought up issues...and pain. a whole world of hurt.