how do I get over not being upset about this:

[infinione]

I have been really upset about something that happened over a year ago and I’m having a hard time getting over it. Something really amazing happened to me in the past but now I can no longer appreciate it because I did something bad by mistake and now I can’t appreciate it anymore. I think if I didn’t do that i would probably be able to appreciate that amazing for the rest of my life and I think this endless gratitude would have really benefited my life and spiritual progress. I’ve tried very hard to get over it but I’m still upset it and upset about it daily. What happened was this: I was friends with this one awesome spiritually aware girl who I thought was really amazing and we hooked up. Not only I was flattered, felt more self confident, and extremely happy by this but one night we had a very powerful spiritual experience together on top of it. We merged our energy fields together becoming “one” and had an out of body experience. We flew around beautiful places, like forests and beaches, and even merged into the light for a sec. After that happened I was extremely happy and joyful because not only I felt honored and flattered about this amazing girl being attracted to me (and wanting to connect with me) but also feeling so lucky that I was able to experience that powerful experience! The fallowing next three months I was really happy about that and I was constantly SOOO happy and had multiple intense positive moments just simply thinking about it. That happened until I found out she had a boyfriend. I got really jealous. I got jealous not because she had a boyfriend but because the boyfriend was much younger then her and seemed way below her league and that made me very jealous. I got overwhelmed by this jealousy and did something very stupid, I tried to break up them. I immediately felt bad but it was to late. I tried to apologizing many times since then but the damage was done. She hates me, thinks I’m crazy, and doesn’t ever want me contacting her. It’s been a year and a half since that has happened and I am still very upset and can’t seem to get over it what I did. I’m upset because I burned some amazing bridges. I destroyed a memory that I felt had the potential of making me extremely happy and thankful for the rest of my life. I was very lucky that I got to connect with such a beautiful girl and have that powerful experience and now I can’t enjoy it because she hates me and thinks I’m crazy. I feel like if I didn’t let that jealousy consume me and try to break them up I still would be able to appreciate that amazing memory and I think it probably would have benefited me in so many ways. The immense joy, honor, and gratitude I would have gotten from appreciating that experience probably would have opened me up spiritually, made me more confident/self aware, and brought daily happiness to my life because I would have felt so lucky. But instead not only I’m not experiencing these things, I’m worse then if it didn’t happen at all. I’m trying so hard to spiritually grow right now but it’s so hard knowing I messed up something that seemed to be so amazing for me. I can’t stop being upset about this and it’s closing my energy fields down and it’s making me feel depressed, especially know the opposite would have happened if I didn’t mistakenly do what I did. I feel like I’m depressed for a legitimate reason. I’m doing pretty good trying to accept it but it’s very very very hard. I doing what I can to try to get over this but still constantly catching myself being very upset on a daily basis and it’s frustrating. I was wondering if any of you guys have any advice on how to deal with this issue I’m dealing with? Thank you so much!

[Sparky]

Hey you It's good to be aware that you've hurt somebody and that you're hurting your self and feeling something as well. The first step is always awareness and to recognize what on earth happened. Also, it's perfectly ok to feel the jealousy and the hurt. It is natural that you will get these emotions. Emotions are like eating foodz. The trick is to simply let them come and go, but we humans are so easily prone to be addicted to something we find fascinating and we were also taught to cling onto the emotions and that "feeling = bad" especially for this jealousy. That is ok. Now to practice letting them come and go. When you feel and let these feelings go, in a way, you are forgiving your self and the people that are involved. Because we were taught that certain feelings are bad such as the jealousy, it will take awhile to teach your self that it's ok to feel this natural thing. If you feel it, you will be able to have more control instead of letting the jealousy have control. It only has control right now because it wants your attention and it will do things to get it. Once you catch it and feel it, you may feel more jealousy that is ok you are giving it the attention it needs. Then you can let this go and celebrate! YAAY! Celebrating that we feel a thing is easily forgotten, so whenever you feel go YAAAY and do something that you enjoy doing. This one might take awhile so it's always a good idea to pat your self on the back each time you feel it. It's part of forgiving your self.

And one last thing, celebrate the time you had with your friend. That's also a thing to go yay! Sure a bad thing happened, but you still got good memories from spending time with her. It's always a good idea to celebrate the time you had with our loved ones.