Hidden emotions
From Elfi
QAndAngel for HLF group, by Angel, (November 8, 2009)
transcribed by Sztormcia
Contents |
Why bother with emotion?
Today's question is about emotions. “How we can feel hidden emotions? Can we find, be aware of and accept emotions we don't want be aware of, perhaps because they are in conflict with our image of ourselves?” Logical and reasonable one, but I’m not going to answer it, not in the way you asked it. I'm going to ask it differently. You want to know why? You see, I'm pretty good with hidden emotion. I can usually tell when there's hidden emotion behind something. But it's taken me years of practise.
And your question's logical, it's reasonable, but behind it I feel another emotion, another more important question. And the emotional feel behind this - and you're welcome to disagree on this one, I don't claim to be right all the time - is “Why should I bother. Emotions on the surface are enough, crazy, stupid, annoying, difficult, they make my life more of a stress, why should I go digging for all the hidden emotions?" It's not "How do we feel hidden emotions?", but "Do I really even want that? Do I want my live to be more emotional, more moody, more out of control?" That’s the question I sense behind this one. I'm not saying you did anything wrong here, just that there's a hidden emotion behind the emotion.
You see, the thing is, emotions are difficult. Sometimes painful, sometimes messy, sometimes awkward, unpleasant. There are times when you wake up and the day feels great. And you will leap out of bed and you'll want to hug everybody, you know, play with the cat or the dog… and you just know it’ll be an awesome day.
But the truth is that most days aren’t like that. And when you're going through this process that you guys are going through, where you try to figure out who you really are and what you want, what matters and if you even want to do all this stuff, when you're going through that even less of the days will be that amazing. More and more the days are hard work with all kinds of crazy, screwed up emotions, and eventually...
Well, imagine that you are a kid and your neighbor has a dog. And every time when you walk by the yard, that dog barks at you, chases you, scares you, it makes life awful for you. You can imagine that very quickly the dog is going to become something you're scared of. You'll not want to walk by the yard, you're going to see that dog in dreams, you're going to just really, really, REALLY not like that dog. Emotions are like that.
Now I'll try to say this little more carefully. When you were one year old, emotions were not like that. When you were young, there were times when emotions were awful and terrifying, overwhelming, and times that were wonderful, great and exciting. That was just a rollercoaster, but now if you are old enough to understand my words, if you’re going through this process, you'll discover that now emotions are like that.
Every time you reach out, they're like a big dog barking at a child, perhaps it’s anger, perhaps it’s insecurity, guilt, shame, fear, loneliness, desperation, helplessness. Some emotions or emotion sets are like that big dog, it’s just barks at you all the time. You guys know what I mean by that? Even if you're not paying attention, it’s there. Maybe you think you're feeling ok, and you talk to your teacher and your teacher says: "You know that emotion you are always dealing with? You got it again, you need to find it." This is what you call hidden emotion. The emotion that you ignore. It’s bigger and bigger as you ignore it. It’s hidden.
The underline question I hear here is not “How do I find these hidden emotion?”, but “Why? Why in gods name would I want to? Every time I deal with emotion, it is painful, awkward and difficult. I really just want it all to stop. So why would I want to digging up the hidden ones?" And that question, while not exactly the one you asked, is reallya huge piece, almost the core of what we are working on.
How the energy system gets damaged
Imagine the picture of a one or two year old child standing up. Imagine that this child isn't just a physical body, it’s an energy body. Imagine energy coming up from that little one's feet and up their legs and right into their root chakra, where it gives healthy energy to the whole body. This sort of thing happens from very, very early on.
Now as this energy rises up, it starts to grow up into the emotional centre in the guts. And the emotional centre has to take all that energy and process it and turn it into emotion so the body can grow. And in time, as it's three or four years old, that energy is going up into the social chakra in the solar plexus, and the little kid is starting to understand social things. - "I need to say thank you, I need to say please, I need to be nice to people, I can’t yell at people when I’m angry.
And in time, if that child is healthy, somewhere around 8, 10 years old, that energy is growing up into the heart, into the centre of the chest, and the heart is really coming alive. That child is learning what love really means, how to love someone.
That’s how it’s supposed to work. In fact somewhere in very early childhood, something starts to get damged between the root energy centre, way down at the bottom, and the emotional centre. And it gets damaged or broken emotions. It gets damaged by sadness, by insecurity, being yelled at again and again and being told “You are a bad kid”, being told “You're not good enough”, no matter what you do you can’t quite work it out. And maybe it's not even pointed at you, maybe your dad or your mom or whoever cares for you had a bad day, and you pick up all their sad or frustration emotions. And all this emotion is way to much for the little kid's system to handle.
So it doesn’t get processed, it get stuck there. Somewhere between your root chakra and emotional centre all this stuff gets stuck and it starts to, metaphorically speaking, starts to dry out, get old and hard, lock up. And it damages your energy system, it keeps that energy from climbing further up and the older you get the more and more stuff gets stored there that's damaged. In time, that energy that should have been reaching the heart, there just isn't enough anymore and so it only gets up to that social centre. And all those relationships we'll have later on in life that really should be coming from the heart, from how much we love one another, are really about "oh, but you are my boyfriend, you are my wife, you are my kid, so you have to, and you shouldn’t, and you must…" And it's all the social stuff. In time even that social stuff starts to get handicapped because there is not enough energy there for it. Because all that energy is getting caught up in our guts.
Bruises and sprained ankles
Everybody knows that blood is a healthy thing inside our body when it's going where it's supposed to. Now what happens if, let's say I walk into a shelf or something and hit my arm, and it doesn't break the skin, but it breaks some of the cappilaries and the little veins under the skin. All that blood is going to leak out of that vein, it's going to flow out into the arm itself, and then it's going to sit there, and rot, and die. And that spot on the arm is going to turn darker, and eventually turn black, and eventually it'll start to heal, but it'll go through stages of green and yellow. This is called a hematoma, it's called a bruise. It's what happens if all that healthy energy that's carried in the bruise is not in the channel it belongs in and it gets stuck in the system.
If you get a bruise that's big enough, say you sprain your ankle, that ankle can swell up to three or four times its natural size, because all the fluids in your body that should be doing wonderful healing things instead make it stuck. They swell up there. and they keep they healthy healing stuff from coming in. And what should be a two or three day injury becomes a two or three week injury instead, and your body can't heal itself.
This is what happens in our guts, when this energy centre just below our emotions, when it starts to leak all this healthy energy out into our guts. It works like a swollen ankle, like a bruise. It flows out and it sits there and it goes off, it goes funky. So instead of providing health and life, it becomes a big swollen bruised spot in our energy system. And it keeps that spot from every healing and it keeps more energy from coming in.
Anybody ever sprain their ankle? If you sprain your ankle, and you go see a doctor or a physical therapist, one of the first things they're going to tell you is to put ice on it. Now I don't know if any of you have every done this, but when you sprain an ankle there's muscles and tendons and all kinds of stuff that are damaged. They hurt and are swollen up and painful. And if you have done this, if you put ice on something like that, you know from the experience that this doesn't make it feel better. Ice makes things squeeze up and contract, you take a muscle that's already sore, maybe slightly torn, damaged, and you put ice on it, it'll shink up, it hurts. In fact, it hurts almost insane crazy for a while and you think this isn't right, this can't be helping. And yet the experts tell you to do that. Why? Why would they tell you to something that makes it hurt so much worse?
They tell you that, because it takes the swelling down. All that swelling and bruising, that thing has gotten all puffed up and cramped, and you want to take that swelling down, which lets circulation start again. And once circulation starts, you can start to heal.
Now, for years I had trouble with sprained ankles, I had it all the time. I spent a lot of time in physical therapy, so I learned this. There are layers of sensitivity in your body. I sprain my ankle, I take a big bag of ice and put it directly on that ankle, and the ice melts, it hurts. It burns slightly because of the cold, and eventually it goes numb, and it feels alright. And that cold starts to soak in deeper, and it gets to the layer of fat or subcutaneous skin, and that starts to ache. But as I keep going, eventually that starts to feel good too. And then eventually, the cold will soak in far enough that it will get into the injury. And that's the point where you want to scream. When that cold soaks into an actual injured place and making it hurt. That is when you just want to yell, oh my goodness that hurts. But if you can push through and keep going, until that cold sinks all the way in, to that injured part, takes the swelling down, numbs the pain, then suddenly, it stops hurting. And you feel ok. This metaphor is close enough for handling what we have called "hidden" emotions today.
Let's say, right now, that we have a student, and all of you are teachers. And this student is yelling and upset and frustrated, and thats all the surface stuff, the anger. And as their teacher, you say "Pay attention to that anger." But "I don't like it, I don't want to, I want it gone!" You push them to pay attention to that anger. This is like icing on the skin. Paying attention to that anger, they eventually find it, and they start to let it go and eventually calm down.
Should they stop there? No, of course not. Because at that point they have to get to a place under the anger. And so maybe they'll say "My parent, my boyfriend, my girlfriend, my wife, my kid, did something," and they'll talk about it, and as they talk they'll eventually get to a point where they talk about how frustrated they are with that relationship, and that frustration is there. And they don't want to deal with that, because it's painful, but you push them to pay attention, to feel it, to pay attention, to sort through it, to breathe. And as they do this, as they feel the frustration and breathe, eventually the frustration starts to fade. And this is like cold soaking through that second layer at the bottom. But eventually, and you'll have to push them to keep going, they get way down to the core of this. And the core of anger is almost always fear. They push harder, and they find that way down deep inside, they have a desperate fear that their lover is going to leave them, that their child is going to die, and that they're going to be left without, and they just can't handle the fear of being without their only child.
Some desperate fear sits at the core. And this is the hardest one to face, because it's so deep and so close to our soul and so personal. This is like the cold soaking into the real energy, this is the one we need to find our way to, this is the true hidden emotion. Does this idea make sense?
Why we need to find hidden emotions
So I come back to the original question: "How do we feel hidden emotions?" And we come back to my original question: "Why should we feel hidden emotions?" For those of you who had a sprained ankle, you can remember. For those who haven't, you can imagine it. Imagine you want to walk out to your bicicle or your car or the bus. Just imagine, I want to go walk some place. A very simple thing, we all walk all the time. You wake up in the middle of the night and walk to the bathroom without even consciously doing it, you walk in the morning to the coffee pot when you're hardly awake. Walking is natural.
Now imagine doing that with a sprained ankle. Maybe you can barely hop, maybe you have to crawl, maybe you need to have a cane or a crutch. But something that should be simple and easy suddenly becomes a major effort. Imagine you sprained both your ankles, maybe you jumped off the roof or were in a car accident. You've got to be in a wheelchair just to get out, and if you live in a upper story appartment without an elevator, you're just screwed, you can't even get down the stairs.
It's the same with the hidden emotions. In the same way a sprained ankle keeps us from doing simple things like walking, the hidden emotions, the sprained emotions keep us from doing simple things. Smiling, laughing, having an honest relationship. Imagine you have a hidden emotion that deals with the deep thing of dying, or a fear of being abandoned or a fear of being mistreated. Every time you start to get into a really good relationship, this hidden emotion starts coming up and starts taking over. And you yell at your partner or you drive them away or you piss them off, or they do this to you. And you're not even in control, you can't help it. This thing just comes out.
This is the emotional energy, the damaged emotional energy, like a sprained ankle keeping us from doing these simple things. The reason we have to, if we want to be healthy, we have to find and deal with these hidden emotions, is because it keeps us from doing all the simplest things in life. Reaching out to others, having an honest interaction, a friendship, loving one another, being a good teacher, student, parent, child. These things are impossible when our emotional system is deeply wounded. This is why we need to find these so called "hidden emotions".
Alright, I want to use a different term. Because you called it hidden emotion, but I'd like to suggest to you that hidden isn't the appropriate word. "Hidden" is like an easter egg, we have to go all over the place to look for them. This is more...imagine that I have a burning hot coal from a clag. I set it down someplace, I put a towel over it, then I put some old clothes over that. Soon enough that whole thing is going to be burning, that hot coal will set it all on fire. There's smoke coming up, there's heat coming up, it's messy and it's crazy and you can see right where it is. But the first step is going to be to get past all the smoke and the chaos and the distraction, just like we do with the emotion. You get past all the craziness. Because it's not hidden, it's right there, it's just messy. And our next step is going to be to take this stuff off the top, the clothes, whatever is on top, and if those are burning, to put them out. Then our next step is going to be the towel that is thrown over it, and put it out. But eventually you will have found your way down to that coal in the centre. And you've got to deal with that, because if you don't, it's going to keep sitting there burning and anything else that is put on top of that is going to catch on fire as well.
So these hidden emotions aren’t really hidden. There’s smoke there’s fire, there is heat, there is pain, there is chaos, confident. Confident show us what they are. Anytime we upset, frustrated, impatient, warn-out, overwhelmed, any of this stuff. It has shown me that one of these buried emotions.
How do you find it? How do you find it? Simple. You sit down and see what you are feeling and if you are too angry to deal with your feelings. That’s the feeling you are looking for: anger. And if you are too frustrated and frustration’s the feeling are you looking for. If you are just too tired and want to sleep. Tired is the feeling you wanna look for. Whatever thing is keeping you from looking. That is actually the road that is lead you right where you wanna go. And you sit down with that thing seems like it is handicapped and than you feel it than you breath and you feel it and you breath. You reach out and touch something this hot. The first thing you do is you jurk your hands away. Makes sense? Reason is: it hurts. When we pull away from pain it’s natural. Here the very first thing you do is take aspite. Right. No one likes hurt.
You get to love. A relationship goes bad. First thing you wanna do is go out and light up a cigarette, or have a drink or something. Because the drug will numble pain a little bit. Our first reaction is to move away from things that hurt. I give you 2 examples.
I was driving a motorcycle at one point. In a turn its higher slipped on ice. I should have gone down and gotten badly hurt. And my first reaction because my face was heading for that pavement at a very fast speed. My first reaction was to try and pull away from the pavement. But I knew that if I pulled away I would pushed the bike closer to the pavement and would rack. So I did the opposite. Actually I threw my whole body at the ground. I was, you know, a few centimetres off and doing that I pushed the bike back up right. And once it was back up right I managed to get off the ice and keep going and I didn’t rack. This is like that.
A few years back in Hawaii just an example. I sprained an ankle, very bad sprain. I heard it pop and really painful while I was playing racketball. I said whow I recognise this one. Couldn’t walk on my feet for 2 weeks. But instead of ignoring the pain I sat down for a minute and focuses on it and trying to make that pain in my ankle as strong as I could. I tried to make it hurt more and more and more by focusing on it. And what happened was within about 3-5 minutes and really focussing on the pain something would pop. And the pain started to fade. And I limped a little for the rest of that day, but the next morning I was fine. I sprained an ankle many times and I knew that one was bad. By the next day I was walking fine.
Because just like on my motorcycle I threw myself into it and that helps. It may not make sense, but this is our method. Next time one of you wants to say: how do I find this buried emotion? I’m gonna tell you look at whatever you are feeling. If it’s hungry, if it’s tired, if it’s impatience, whatever the thing is feel that. Breath and try and make that stronger. Digging in the middle of that. If it is frustrated think about all the things that make you frustrated. Try and make the frustrated bigger and stronger and bigger and stronger and bigger and stronger. So it’s overwhelming you want to scream and keep going past that and keep breathing, breathing, really deep and keep making chunk and eventually you feel your way to core the frustration. When you do let just pop and starts to fade.
But I don’t want you to stop there. That’s what I want you to say: all right, that is just the surface skin on ice. What’s the next layer down. What emotion is underneath the frustration. And almost always when you are doing it, you start it to feel something. You feel lots of distracting stuff from our all everyday life and all of this stuff will come up. I am not talking about every emotion. I am talking about something that will feel deeper, something that will feel more from the middle. Perhaps this is sadness, perhaps a little loneliness I don’t know. Something will be deep within there and if you can truly find that and feel it then you do the same. You make it stronger, you push at it. You do everything you can to dig into the middle of that feeling and make it as strong as intense as you can and you deep breathing and eventually that will pop. And somewhere at the middle somewhere in the middle you find anger, but somewhere way down there in the middle you are going to find fear. This is gonna be a fear something. And likely that this is stuff starts from where between 1 and 3 years old. Likely the emotion is gonna be very childish and you are not going to be able to think your way out of it. You might even feel ridiculous. Because this emotion wants you makes you wanna scream and cry and tired an all that. And it is so childish. This is the one that get stuck there when you were a kid and you gotta find it and feel it and breath. Anything can do that if you can make it stronger and stronger and feel it and feel it and breath. Eventually you find a way to the middle of it and pop instead of.
Now you’re not done. That is about the same as icing a sprained ankle. The sprain is still there. The damaged emotional system is still there. So what you need to do then is to take it easy. In the same way you prop up the ankle if that were sprained. You take easy on your emotions. Don’t fight with anybody if you have to, don’t talk with anybody. Write in your journal and talk about it or talk to someone you trust you know won’t yell at you or cause you too much chaos, but take it easy. And know that in a few hours you do it again. Like with a sprained ankle you better keep icing at every so often until the swelling really starts to go down and heals. And when that happens when that starts to heal you start putting heat on it and the heat will help to heal faster.
It’s like that fear. Once you do this enough times that you find your way to all the core stuff and it starts to fade pretending you start going out looking for trouble. Perhaps when you start teaching students and they are going to piss you off. Offend you or make your life more difficult. That sort of put heat on it, because in doing that you digging up with the more stuff than you attempt to and pay attention to and grow through.
In this process will help the healing pattern much much faster. The idea is simple, fine ,whatever the thing is, make it stronger, feel it and breath and keep doing that for the pops. Find what is underneath it and repeat. And take it all the way down to what’s probably fear at the centre. Are there any questions on that? It’s not just how it is that’s changing the terms that’s why and the top.
What if I feel nothing? Allright. Someone has asked me a question. She says I feel nothing. If you feel nothing how do you find what is underneath? I give you 2 answers in the same answer. One is that you don’t feel nothing. It is not possible feel nothing. Rather you got too angry, frustrated, impatient, upset, tired of it and you just refuse to pay attention to the feelings anymore. It’s going somebody being torturched eventually they can get to a place where something snaps and than just tune it all out. The body is still feeling all the pain / emotions are still feeling all the horror. But somehow the mind snaps and turns it out. What is important to know is that your mind is not really relevant in this process. Your mind does nothing more than steer the attention. And the attention of feeling with feelings. Then they call the difference. The second answer is if you feel nothing then do what I just said take whatever you are feeling and make it stronger. Exactly the same answer. But feel that nothing stronger. Dig into that nothing do everything you can to make that nothing more and more and more and you find that that nothing is a hugher way of sensations. The more you dig into it. The more it will help you. So it doesn’t matter to me or anyone what you are feeling, whatever it is. Use that as your first step.
Talk about things something is very important. If any of you were left hidden and never tried to in a so sushi or you write right handed and tried left handed so sushi. It doesn’t seem like that should be a problem. Go to this amazingly awkward. It just doesn’t want to cut anything, it just doesn’t work well. Maybe someone of you experienced that. We do something like that with thoughts and emotions. We have got left handed versus right handed. Right handed is on the left and one can mature everything.
Process emotions emotionally If we take an emotional situation. Imagine a couple and I’ll stereotyping a little bit but a married couple has been married for 8 years. She is having a bad day she is emotional. She says look I want someone to listen to me. I am frustrated I am all these emotions. His response? If you can watch the couple like this you will probably know. He is responsible will be to say well let’s think about this, will be logical, well now use your head. And that’s not going to help. She is feeling emotion and she needs to deal with this emotion and what he does instead you know what, use your head and think your way out of it. Now I’m stereotyping and I realise for that. Let’s imagine the next day. Thank you I see the question. Let’s imagine the next day and they have worked through that and they are trying to decide where to invest a forrow one pavement. Now there are tirement accounts and they you know hit the books and the logically will look at things and say well. You know this one is showing a steady earning interest growth and so on. You know this one is doing well so let’s go with the better one. And this is the thing that probably should be a logical use mind figure it out. Instead one of us have to has yes look at this cool logo and I like the way it feels. It’s your know this cute little teddy bears. It’s warm and busy. Let’s do that. Let’s do it based on the emotional. And well, that kind of logic might work for a child, that wouldn’t be much good in this situation. And the only issue you should be looking at is simple emotions or something like this. You should look more at the logical reasons. And there are cases where we are feeling emotional and we need to process that emotional. In cases where the situation is nor intellectual a metal one you need to process that mental. Now here’s what happens. In our couple have been married 8 years. She comes home she is feeling emotion he pushes her to process it mentally and it doesn’t go away. Later on he is dealing with something mental may think that this is my logical idea and she helps him to process an emotion.
The reason we are using a married couple is because often everyone of us has a male and female side inside. And the male side tends to be more logical and the female side tends to be more emotional. It’s just how we are wired. Now something comes up their mama yells at you, your kid calls you a name, your cat scratches or something comes up and it brings up emotion and you sit down with yourself and say logically my parent having a bad day, my kid got in a fight at school, my cat was scared. Logical I understand that. So I won’t hold it against it. You can’t do that. You are taking emotional chaos and processing it logically. You have to at that point posses emotions. Yes, they yelled at me, but what am I feeling? Am I feeling hurt, am I feeling frustrated, am I feeling frustrated, am I feeling exhausted, feeling unappreciated. You have to stop and feel that. You have to feel it and you have to breath. And as you feel it and breath the feelings will eventually lessen.
After you process the emotional than you can look at the logical And once you process through it emotional than you can look at the logical. Right, what was the reason? What was hidden? And when the logical situation comes up one requires an invalies. You don’t get through all your emotions around and be emotional chaotic. You have to say no, this is a logical situation. I will process it logically. And this should seen obvious I mean this doesn’t seem magic. It’s an emotion process an emotion. Logic process it logically. And I challenge you to work with couples, to watch your friends. Even to watch yourselves and in a maturity of time people will process the logical situations emotionally and vice versa. And wonder why your life is crazy. So in this process of discovering this buried emotions. Your first response is gonna be: gosh that hurts that’s emotionally painful. I’m gonna think about this in and find a logical reason. You can’t do this way. You got to process the emotion and as you do you gonna start to remember your childhood. My mother, my father, my brother, my sister they did this awful thing. I remember this and this really bothers me. And this logical thing you should be thinking your way through there. Ok. They did this. Why did they do this? Well they were partly dyslectic. They were too empathic and they couldn’t handle the emotion. Even think you cure from instead of doing that and you say that hurt enough and you get frustrated and you are gonna take all this emotional stuff and use the emotional to process the logic. You can’t this way. You have to handle each with his own tool. The like cannot scissor or relax unless you are on the lucky side (45.30). So as the emotions come up you have to feel them and process them emotionally. And as you do memories will come up. Memories you stored in your mind you did the process those with your mind and as you do so more emotions are gonna come up. And you have to process those emotions emotionally. And then more ideas and memories are gonna come up. You have to process those ideas mentally. And this is a lot of work and it is difficult. It is time consuming and it is going to take you probably months if it is not years and years to get all this stuff in place. But if over the next few months you have the determination, you keep working on these things. If you have the disciplines I am giving you now. Logic and groovie at the years (groupie ipa’s) and emotional tools to handle the emotion the idea of getting beneath it. And if you really want this that is you decide you really want this and you commit to this. That decision is that disciplines, that dedication keep going. We will carry you through this and you come out the other side. And as you do, you start to clear what Rohaa calls gutmuck and I call it emotional groozy. What in energetic groozing in your guts as you start digging to clear that. The energy systems will heal, energy will start moving through you again.
The process is painful, difficult, overwhelming, firing, exhausting, bla, bla, bla, bla. So listen and take discipline. Decision and with that help of those around you you will come through this. And as you come through it you find you got more and more energy coming up to your social center. And you are going to hit chaos there and work through eventually and more and more energy starts to come up to the heart. You are going to find a heart wounded or broken or tired and you start to heal and as you do. As you come up through each level. If instead of saying my god this is all way too much work. Instead of whow I healed this earlier stuff. Now I am ready to handle this. Oh I healed this, now I am ready to handle this. Eventually you come to a where we have taken energetically cripple body where in fact you can’t even feel anything anymore. Right. We have taken that emotional crippled body that energetically that hard crippled body. That body with the damaged literal the body with all of the intuitive senses shut down. And been out of place. Or only noticing the most horrifying things and you give in to really heal it. And if you can go through it, the entire process really takes about 2 years. If of serious work. You should co torture this.
Once you cracked the other side and live in that process. Nr. 1 you feel better than you ever have. Nr. 2 you begin to really experience things, you haven’t noticed since you were 1 or 2 years old. Nr. 3 we start to really clue what you came here to do and to be part of it. Nr. 4 and this may be the biggest one. You begin to affract everyone around you.
Right now the buried emotions are making a new life rough and will hurt everyone around you. As you crow to this process as you come through it and eventually you will come out of it. You begin to feel and help everyone around you. You save peoples lives and they say of my god you were so wise. We are there for people, and they need them and say you changed my life and I can’t believe how much you have helped me. I don’t even know how to express my gratitude and love for what you have done for me. These things, these four pieces they don’t come until you begin to dig into this buried emotions and work your way up to the left and the right. The tools for emotions relights. The decision, the discipline, the dedication. They come true. Until you can do those things you cannot begin to feel. You’re like a badly crippled person who has never learned how to walk to get crippled since childhood. You have got to go to the physical therapy, you got to grow the muscles you got to learn to walk and eventually you can stand up straight and dance and play. Perhaps have kids of your own teach them to walk and perhaps go their own physical path.
This is a world full of crippled, crippled people. Emotionally, mentally, spiritually, energetically. And almost when we begin to feel ourselves, we begin to feel the others.
Pay attention: go out in public We don’t want to pay attention to some emotions that we just don’t believe we have them and then we aren’t even aware we have to search for something. Question was about how to pay attention to this. My response is this. Go out in public somewhere some busy place. Take a close look at every person and thing you see. And you see this kicking at a dog, are yelling at a child maybe somebody is sick and hurting. Maybe someone is just angry and bitter and frustrated. Look at every single person and thing you are seeing. Pick up the newspaper and look at some of the horrors in the world. Take that thing, each and everything, hold it in your heart for a minute and you say know what I love you and I am so grateful you are here in my world. Now imagine you see somebody kicking their dog and say you know what, I love you very grateful you’re here beating that poor animal. You see some yelling at your pour kids and I love you I am so grateful that you’re yelling at your kids. I am willing to bet that most of you can’t do this simple thing. Kicking a dog is wrong, yelling at your child is wrong, what the governments in a war machine doing in this world is wrong. As long as that’s going on, as long as you are seeing things that you can’t love and can’t give gratitude for. Those things are reflecting parts of you. That you don’t love you can’t feel gratitude for. So you don’t believe you have these emotions, you are not even aware to search for something. This is how you become aware. Every single thing you see. Say quiet and inside yourself I love you. And I am so grateful you’re exactly like you are. And you cannot feel those things and you have those buried emotions. Eventually you should get to a point when you can see the most horrific things, whatever it is and how much it offends you. You should be able to look at it and say. I love you, I love this thing I am so grateful about that. Now you may not like it at some level and make the awful this happens. But for some reason those people involved those animals that situation. They can’t live in this life for this confect and sit. I want to have this experience I want to be raped I want to be abused, I want to be killed. They chose that experience and they are having it. As long as I am saying you know what. In my simple human mind. I know better than you and all your spirit of wisdom haven’t find this lifetime. I am the inheritors, foolish, childish. I need to say and I noticed on the street and I need to say to that person. That thing inside you I love you and am grateful to see for showing me this part of myself that I am not happy with. When you wanted to do that when I can approach every single thing with love and gratitude. Then I know I cleared all the buried emotions. Then I know there is nothing else there. Now I am not saying sit back on your hand and watch it all happen. If there is some illegal things when somebody really stirring up you wanna go out and march on your capper or write your local royal representative. Do it! There is somebody young a kid and is the right thing to stop them and say. Hey, I get yelled at a lot by my parents, now still recovering. No idea how much that is hurting me again. Do it! If you are going to call social services or somebody that this kid is taken hiding away from that parent do it! And no way am I saying sit back and in a while of life to go to hell. I want you to act everytime as appropriate act. I wanna make absolutely less insure that you are acting from a place of love and gratitude and not judgement out of fear. A couple of minutes we got left want to guess why that matters? Simple one of that we all can do it. Because you reput yourself actually taking on that fear leave it on the leaving very close and very close to highway when I said it.
It is very much like your reput yourself is this. You deep in your core you want to be healthy. But you can’t be healthy until you find the broken parts of healing. Then you want to be healthy. You gonna keep keeping trying to draw attention to the broken parts so you can find and heal them. And if that part is about abuse you gave in a past life work through you have been abusing this life or something like that. You are going to keep drawing situations of abuse into your life. People out there will have to keep paying purse. So that you see this part of you, this hurt of feeling. As long as you have this broken piece and as long as you want to heal and not paying attention to it. More and more examples are gonna come to you. The moment you can stop finding that. That healing it in yourself. So you respond with nr 1 love, nr 2 gratitude to every situation. The most situations can quit coming to you. You perhaps will still come once in a while. It’s a test to make sure you really are over it. But if each time you respond with love and gratitude. Truly healed love and gratitude. No matter how much the experience might have bothered. Who you used to be. If each hand can do that. Then you will sense exactly what the right thing is to do. I spend 20 years of this sexual abuse counsellor and worked with thousands of people. And the reason I did, cause of abuse in my past that I was trying to find and heal. I don’t do it anymore. I found that piece and healed it. Then you have a self of sexual abuse going on in the world, but I don’t need to call it into my life anymore. I don’t need to remind of if many times a day every day, because I found that piece and now I wanna see going on in a couple of new relationships and a parent child. I can look at that love and gratitude and I can act appropriate thing or not at all. When it’s no longer the fear the anger, the frustration, that drives me to it, because I’ve healed that piece.
Student 1 will keep breathing or feeling, because there is unresolved anger you won’t forgiving anger in your past. Student 2: you intendancy to be shy, because you feel lonely, frustrated, but you need to find that in yourself and heal it. Student 3: I don’t need to be on time, but you have unresolved bitterness. Your bitterness evokes, because there is something that happens in the past since you keep finding bitterness in the world. You need to find these feelings.
We each have these pieces We each have these pieces. These core pieces that keep coming up. We need to find it. When we took in. And I shouldn’t receive the things Rohaa did in the world. We will see them with love, with honour, with celebration, with gratitude. And our ultimate is our purpose. You will leave this life with nothing, you’re came in here with nothing. In the meantime you have lots and lots of playmates and it’s so much more fun so much more interesting so much more help to yourself and others. If all those experiences come with love gratitude and celebration, joy and honour and if you become the pigeon ones. The process is a lot of hard work and yet it is very very simple. What you will do.
