Discipline
From Elfi
Contents |
Discipline
Some people don't have an idea of how to be disciplined. In fact its become a dirty word, indicating something unpleasant or something our schools told us to be when we wanted to do something else. For some it might even be synonymous with punishment. This is not the case.
Discipline means sticking with something because you want results, even when it's difficult or you're getting distracted.
Discipline may not be something you think you'll need when you are exploring spirituality and the meta-intuitive. On the surface, this seems more a matter of learning new ideas and becoming more sensitive to the non-physical world. Most think of cool things you can do like see ghosts, telling the future, knowing people's secrets, or being able to heal. Those things are there to be sure and you can learn them, but not by accident.
Discipline becomes relevant when you recognize the many thing in life you want to change. You start running into habits and behavioral patterns that say: “You can start changing things tomorrow” “Why don't you take a break?” “You tried that a few times, you're done” “How about a nap?” “You have really important other things to do instead, like re-organizing your sock drawer”
Before you know it, nothing is happening in your life at all. For things to change and for new patterns to stick and become effective, you need to do things you've decided on over and over again. You need to be disciplined in them, if it's just a game you play when you feel like it you may have a nice game but you will get no results. The things you want in life won't be happening.
Anyone that has made it to Blue Belt or above knows a thing or to about discipline, focus, how to stick with it and get down to business when you need to. No matter what excuse your inner pieces are screaming at you.
Why do you do this?
Before you can be disciplined about something, you need to know why you want to do it. Do a short write-up in your journal (or elsewhere) and list: What is the problem? Where are you now that you would like to change? What is it that you want to change to? In what way will this discipline give you that? What benefits will you gain from changing in this way?
Make yourself a concrete and attainable goal, like “being able to stay grounded.” It doesn't have to be a 3-page essay, the point is to be clear to yourself why you are doing it.
Example
Problem: I'm often feeling chaotic and shaky, I don't like it. Want: I'd like to be more stable and balanced. Discipline: If I stay grounded most of the time, all the chaotic energy can just drain away and won't bother me anymore. Gain: This will help me get my work done, find more pleasure in the things I do, and respond to others without all the anxiety.
More important than
An effective way to teach yourself disciplined is by reminding yourself every time you are thinking of giving in to undesired behavior (laziness, speaking without thinking, over-/under- eating, anything).
More specifically, you remind yourself “I care more about this person I'm hurting with my behavior that I care about my drama.” or “I care about my dreams than I care about eating this cookie or watching TV for the 10 seconds it would take me to do this.”
It puts things in perspective and give you motivation to do it, even if your insides don't feel like doing it at that moment. Your discipline tells you to do is tiny, easy, and fast and the reason is huge, important and wonderful. “I care more about becoming independent that I care about my drama”. I keep repeating it over and over again.
Beepers
A simple idea is to put on a beeper. There are programs you can download for free that give beeps after a set amount of time. You can agree with yourself to do whatever it is your working on whenever the beeper goes off. You drop everything you are doing when it beeps, even in mid sentence and do your exercise. This can go from simple grounding to holding your core archetype.
If you are ignoring it, make it beep loader and faster. A part of discipline can get messed up because you forget. This will make you remember.
Markers
Similar to the beeper but is easier to walk around with and on irregular intervals. Grab a sharpie or other marker and put a sign on the back of your hand. It can be a circle, an X or anything that will remind you of something you've decided to be disciplined about.
For some, you many choose a mental marker instead of a real one. Like every time you drink something you do the exercise. Every time you take a step, you do the exercise. Every time you see the color Blue. It doesn't matter what you use, as long as it is something that occurs at an interval you want and that you can remember easily.
If its something you would like to become used to or want to remember, one way is to write down the idea on a post-it note and tape it somewhere you pass by often. You computer monitor, your workplace wall or the door of your fridge for example.
On the spot
Intentionally put yourself in a situation when you need to do your exercise. Where you can't escape it or things get more difficult if you don't. If you know you've a problem being shy, intentionally accept that invitation to socialize. If you know you're likely to lock yourself in your room and not talk to anyone for days, intentionally go outside.
Get help
Sometimes it hard to keep track of things yourself and the techniques previously haven't worked as well as they could. There is no rule that says you have to do it yourself. You have friends, family, and classmates who can help you. If your trying to break a habit of being negative have a friend call you out on it every time you are negative. If you are having trouble centering, have someone poke you every time you aren't.
Invent code words between yourselves to remind you. It often easier than “hey, you doing that thing again.” One word that was invented was mongoosing for whenever someone would get off topic and ramble, getting distracted. You can even decide to do exercises as a group and call each other on it in chat rooms and journals.
This is even more effective if you team up with someone else that is doing the same exercise. Not only will you be watching yourself for unwanted behavior but you will also be watching them like a hawk because it matters to them and you.
Rewards
You can even bribe yourself. Promise yourself that each (10 days, 2 days, 1 month) that you do your exercise, you get a reward. It can be a piece of chocolate, or buying something you have wanted for awhile. Then you add this reward to the first technique in the list. “I care about my health more than I care about my anger and if I do it I get to watch this new TV episode tonight! I want to!”
