Lately an old 'friend' has come to visit me again. I've been depressed for years, even before Elfpath. I always thought this was because of my childhood, so I mainly focused on the issues related to that. But after 2 years of Elfpath and working on them, one day I found myself back exactly where I started: Depressed, not wanting to get out of bed, and scared to death to do 'anything'. I was frustrated to see this, because I thought I was getting out of my pit, freeing myself of the crap I'd gotten from my past, and yet here I was having ended up nowhere.
I finally got the chance to talk about it with a strong senser, and we found out a couple of things.
First of all, because of my Sourcing gift, it was said that I should be on the Child Path, the very one I've been avoiding like the plague all this time. I did not want to be on the Child path because to me it represented being childish, just playing around in the sandbox and always being looked out over and made sure I was doing 'okay' and being 'safe'. Having no power, no control, no nothing. However, this is NOT what the Child Path is about. It's about exploring, experiencing, going out and doing things, making it happen. And for this all, you need a certain degree of freedom, something that is inherently lacking in my view of the Child Path.
When talking about it, we figured out that all I saw of the Child Path was it's shadow side. Being locked up in a cage not being allowed to do anything 'I' want, because clearly I am just a kid and can't think or do things for myself because I am stupid and unresponsible and clearly do not know what to do and what not to do. And this is pretty much what my childhood has been like too, I just conveniently 'forgot' or overlooked this particular aspect of it.
When I was young I wanted to climb on everything and see what was there. Stick my fingers into things and touch them to see what it was like. But I also always had an extremely overprotective neurotic and obsessively controlling mother looking over my shoulder. So each time I wanted to go out and explore, my parents, and she in particular, said NO BAD!, and over time that pretty much bludgeoned my child piece to death, leaving it very unconfident and insecure and clinging to parental skirts to seek approval of what to do.
This is not the light side of the Child Path, it's the Shadow Side. And it's why I am so depressed. Because I am doing exactly the opposite of what I want to do. I want to read books, play games, learn how to skate, go swimming in a moat that has greenbrown water and climb into trees. I want to travel and see the world and all its wonder and beauty, from faraway lands to the little hidden garden in the nearby park.
But I'm not doing that. Instead I am locking myself up in my room, confined in a small space not doing anything, because I am scared to anything.
So to heal this, I am going to try something.
Each time I think of doing something, I'll reach inside and find that scared little me, and reassure her. Tell her it's okay to explore, to do, to experience. And then go do what I thought of doing.

In general, this is how all children, big and small, should be treated. They are there to go out and discover the world in the way they want to. Don't confine them and scream at them in panic because you think they'll hurt themselves. Let them go and discover things their way. Cheer them on and reassure them if they get hurt. Take care of them, and let them go again. Set them free. And watch them play.

If anyone can relate to this, by all means post here too and share your thoughts and feelings on it. The child is an integral and important part of ourselves, not only for people on the Child Path, but for the other paths as well. I know it's time for me to try and help it be, maybe it's time for others as well.

Other on the child path may run into something very similar. Enelya seems to be currently following the A1M path. Which she summed up so very beautifully.

So heres my bits in my own words just in case it was hard to understand

Being on the child path doesn't I repeat doesn't mean you've got to be a big giant baby or little kiddo. Theres a mature child (as contradictory as that sounds) When most of us hear child we think of that little kid doing cart wheels playing in the park with a ball or other kids. Your not restricted to that. If you want to start there sure go for it! EXPERIANCE IT! Like Enelya is finding out its all about experiancing. So if you want to climb trees play in the park go do it. You can also go start a multi million dollor biz and then go throw it all down the drain and settle for a farm or a private villa...its just another cool and fun experiance.

I played a bit with the child in Egypt we had a chance to go ride on horses and camels by the pyramids and I went ok cool experiance. I mostly wanted to go on the horses but figured I'd put the experiance of riding a camel under my belt as well. So I road on the camel and it was fun and we went really really fast and it was an new and fun experiance. Also went super fast on the horse which was an awesome and fun experiance as well and yes a tad bit scary too BUT AN EXPERIANCE NONE THE LESS!

Enelya also has another point about a child not being able to be a child. So heres what I feel maybe helpful for others dealing with someone whos on a child path.

I'm not sure if you had ever watched kids at a park or maybe remember moments in your life where you as a child played at a park...if you don't you can just pretend

I've seen two types of Moms at the park theres the ones who follow the kid around everywhere franticly "GET DOWN DON"T GO TO HIGH!" "OOOooo your knee is scratched I told you don't do that here lets go home." Shes this crazy thing running after the kid with her hands in the air and shes just stressing herself out and keeping the kid from really doing and experiancing anything.

Now I know some places don't have the pleasure of the cool mom but I've seen a few in my short life time
The cool mom is a mom everyone wants she sits back on the bench drinking the kids jucies and watching the kid while talking to the other moms. The kid will climb around and rule the play ground and she will always keep a constant eye on the kid. Not only that but she will let them know, "Good job honey!" "OOoo look at how high you are be careful you might fall." "ooops your knees hurt here *kiss* all better go play your ok" They are this loving supportive caring mom whos got a constant eye on the kid letting it actually go out and experiance that wonderful play ground and ya sure the kid might get hurt but you just comfert and take care of them then send them off again to keep on experiancing everything.

Its like how I explained it to Enelya the kid may at times pick up some posion and go "oo whats this can I drink it?" and you can offer them jucie instead and give warning that thats not going to be to wonderful if you drink that posion...and if they go ahead and drink it anyway you drive them to the hospital and hold their hand while their stomach is being pumped then give them some ice cream and send them off again. If they are smart they will decide not to go experiance that again and maybe just take the jucie next time. They arn't dumb they are just out there grabbing one experiance to the next and thats what they are supposed to be doing.

So if your a child path go out and EXPERIANCE!

If you not and working with a child path person Keep an eye out, Support, Love, Encourage, Comfert, Reasure, Send off

Other suggestion, scans, experiances, or comments highly welcome and helpful. I don't care what belt level your at you've got experiance and something to say so SHARE

We are all in this together and if your not speaking up we and you are missin out on some info which ya know could be highly helpful...We won't bite your heads off don't worry <3

We haven't covered life paths yet, but I have read through them on the forum and if there is one path that stands out to me and feels like it points at the things that make me happy, it's the child path. Just exploring and especially experiencing new things fill me up with joy. Always have. When I read Cas's post on the strict and cool mum, it sort of felt to me like this strict mum has child issues as well. She's afraid to experience (her child being in pain or in hospital, other parents telling her she is a bad mum) and therefore she becomes very rigid and strict. Causing her own kids to become damaged and afraid as well and if those kids aren't careful and do something about it, they will turn into a strict parent themselves. Completing the cycle.

Also, I know from someone who's in child care business that these strict parents don't only spoil it for their own kids but have a much larger effect. She often has mums complaining that the child care environment isn't save enough for their kids. Kids aren't allowed to climb in trees anymore, toys aren't allowed to lay around, that's all too dangerous. When a kid hurts itself, the child care center didn't take enough precautions and should be punished. And there are all these inspection services who help these strict parents by regulating silly safety measures. That way, a kid who has cool parents can still feel like it's being suppressed when it has to spend a lot of time in these centers.

My third thought was that school may be contributing to the kid's loss of wanting to experience as well. In school you get told whether your findings are 'good' or 'bad' and that can completely take the fun out of exploring whatever the kid feels like doing. [EDIT] A friend just twittered this picture that illustrates this quite nicely: http://imgur.com/NZGBy?full . The kid should be praised for coming up with such a clever optical illusion

I realized I totally misunderstood myself when writing this post, so I edited. There isn't a delete button tho so you got this message.

Enelya, This is truly beautiful, and so important... thanks for putting yourself out there.

Cas, I'm pretty sure you mean A1m, not A2m. A2 types are more likley to be sensers.

It can help those on the child path to recognize that the "child" part of them will never feel safe or happy while it has to "drive", that is make all the decisions in its life. That's too much for a child. Those who manage a healthy child path have a "guardian" or "caregiver" adult personality that watches the details. Think of it as a nanny, protecting, encouraging and guiding the deep you, while constraining as little as possible. While it's babysitting, the child can go out and be as much child as it wants to.

Those on a healthy child path will often be the most wise and mature among us b/c this "nanny" piece is so used to understanding and nurturing.